Snowden May Have Been Aided by Richard Windsor

NSA director General Keith B. Alexander told reporters that intercepted emails indicate that a former EPA employee named Richard Windsor may have aided and abetted Edward Snowden in collecting some of the classified data he has released. Sources within the FBI confirm that Windsor has been the target of a nationwide manhunt and he is now believed to be living in the San Francisco area under an assumed name. One FBI supervisor labeled Windsor as the "most elusive personality the FBI has ever encountered".
Commenting on other matters the loquacious general said he could not confirm that the IRS had deliberately targeted conservative groups but NSA had uncovered an astounding 5401 extramarital affairs within the agency. "Yes, it is an agency in crisis but considering the number of people over there who have been run through drug rehab I'd say they are doing pretty well. You have to realize, that for some reason we have yet to determine, the IRS has a huge number of people with Oedipal conflicts. Several hundred of them call a crisis hotline every Mothers Day."
Asked if any other governmental agencies had troubled employees Alexander replied; "I could tell you stories about the TSA that would make you wet all over yourself. I mean these guys, and women too, well talk about the inmates running the asylum. Never mind I can't get into that too deeply but the money these people spend on kiddy porn would blow your mind. One time just for fun we mined Victoria's Secret's online orders and you would not believe the all the sexy lingerie these guys buy. For their wives? Don't make me laugh. Not unless they're all married to Amazons. All those double large and triple large sizes? I mean these people are kinky!"
General Alexander explained that member of Senate and Congressional Intelligence Committees had suggested that he should try to be a bit more open with the press and had encouraged him to speak openly about NSA activities as long as he did not reveal any classified information.