Bad Cop/Good Cop Becomes Bad Cop/Jeffrey Dahmer

While I am reluctant to advise the GOP--and they aren't seeking my counsel anyway--I can no longer harness my kibitz reflex. Recognizing that I will be regarded in the same light as the loudmouth who screams "Free Bird" from the balcony at a Lou Reed concert, I proceed to solicit the unsolicited.

Understand, I never have had any loyalty to the GOP and still do not. In my younger days I was sometimes a philosophical non-voter. The system was a giant sham. Both political parties were dedicated to growing the size and scope of government and fleecing the sheep as they did so. The conflicts were as staged as pro wrestling. At the end of the day Tip and Gip would share a song and a drink and laugh at the dupes.

As I saw it the GOP played Bad Cop and the Dems played Good Cop. But the Dems never fooled me. Never. Their conspicuous compassion and concern for the common good was all window dressing. Their objectives were the same as the Bad Cop's. A display of Fascism with a smiley face. At least the Bad Cop put his cards on the table.

Years later the Republicans are more or less the same. But I have changed and to a greater degree, the Democrats have changed. What was once Bad Cop/Good Cop has become Bad Cop/Jeffrey Dahmer. No, the Republicans still do not respect the citizenry. Their objective is to imprison and torture America. But they don't want to devour America. That is the essential difference.

Recognizing that we will fare better submittting to the rubber hose than to the dinner fork, I hereby offer my sterling strategems for GOP success. In other words, I point out the obvious:

Detective Needlenose: For too long you have let Dahmer control the narrative. It goes something like this: "America suffered for eight years of Republican rule whence we were inflicted with locusts and boils and carbuncles and financial ruin." Then the Republicans respond with something like "Obama is worse."

Both messages are partially correct. However, a better response might be the more accurate response. The Democrats took control of both houses after the 2006 elections. Everyone with a rudimentary understanding of US government, the Constitution, etc., knows that Congress makes our laws. Not the President, Congress. So it is vital to point out that the GOP ran the country from 1994 to 2006. The Dems have run the show from 2007 till today.

Yet, this pertinent data is never trumpeted in the media. Every time the Whiner-In-Chief complains about the mess he inherited, the Republican attack dogs should be all over his verbiage like Rush Limbaugh on an Oxycontin.

Granted, this message will be lost on the Hope Dopes and the idiots who voted for Obama and who have not a clue how our government is structured. But those are lost souls anyway. In his brilliant "Media Malpractice..." John Ziegler confirmed the overwhelming ignorance of Obama supporters (with the help of Zogby's polling.) But is this pool of blissful ignorance alongside the super-trendy, the mega-stylish, the proudly inarticulate, the shallow, the silly, the obsequious and the boys who made the extra effort to work the word "dude" into every sentence, alongside these paragons of empty-headed gemutlichheit cheesy hero worship, swam the soon-to-be-remorseful.

The soon-to-be-remorseful were a minority, that is true. They knew it would hurt a bit to turn the brain switch on once more. But they pulled the switch anyway. They realized, some sooner than others, that they had been duped. Yes, they were a minority but a minority that ultimately tipped the scales. Those are the people who have to be reached.

This is amazingly simple stuff but the Republican attack dogs miss it, mostly because they are only slightly smarter than the Obots and not half as smart as the Alinksy-ites who call the shots. They miss the slam dunk over and over and over.

So, GOP lap dogs, here is the synopsis of what should have been obvious to you during the 2008 campaign that you still cannot seem to grasp:

1. Whenever the Teleprompter complains about the mess he inerited, turn up the volume and remind him that he had been a US Senator four years prior to his presidential election and his office controlled both Houses since 2006.

2. Drag out the economic graphs and charts and data and compare the years 1994-2006 with the years preceding and especially, the years following this period. In every economic/fiscal category your team will triumph. Just do it!

3. Emphasize GOP vs. Dems instead of Bush vs. Obama. Emphasize the performance of the respective parties when they each controlled Congress.

4. Reach out to the remorseful voter. Their votes will determine the fate of our nation.

There it is, Detective Needlenose. You ain't no hero but you are all that stands between us and a force that could reduce America to a smug and priveleged and historic after-dinner belch. Dahmer's stomach is growling and I don't like the way he's looking at me.